Monday, March 30, 2020

I rarely talk about this to anyone…. PTSD

I know I don't attend gatherings in Dolan and didn't hang around the fire station after calls and training. 
I hope this explains why. I tried to tell Chief Bonnee, he said he totally understood and then complained that I didn't hang around the station.

This is a copy of a message sent to Chief Bonnee

Jay Fleming leapspeaker@gmail.com

Oct 16, 2019, 5:45 PM
to Chief
Tim

I rarely talk about this to anyone and don't want it getting around so I'm sending it to your 
personal email

Tim

I rarely talk about this to anyone….
I’m sorry I don’t hang around the station when we have training. 
Working undercover as long as I did really screws up your ability to get close or 
trust anyone. I don’t know how to explain it other than it’s a dirty business and what 
we do to people isn’t right. You get close to people and their family during long term
 operations. At the end when their whole life is destroyed it’s not anger in their eyes, 
its disappointment.

When I came out from undercover the shrink asked me if I thought anyone was 
watching me or wanted to hurt me… When I showed the newspapers he wrote this…

It just takes me some time…
Pend oreille MH Letter.jpg

timothy bonnee t_bonnee@yahoo.com

Oct 16, 2019, 7:48 PM
to me
I totally understand I have been diagnosed also with ptsd from my career I understand and I am ok
with it all just glad to have u volunteering for us thank you but I do know what it is like it’s hard for
me sometimes I have to leave and take a drive to meadview or around Dolan to escape it

Sent from my iPhone

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